How to make progress

Start. Do anything. Do something. Act.

If you can do one small thing today, you are one step closer to your goal.

Do you have a goal?

Perhaps today is the day you work out what your goal is. Because that is enough to take you one step ahead and how to make progress. (Well don’t just sit there. Get a piece of paper and do it now.)

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Start today

Do you have something you really want to do in your life, but you have trouble getting started? Here’s some very funny, wise words from the author of How to get from where you are to where you want to be, Jack Canfield:

“Don’t keep putting things off waiting for 12 doves to fly over your house in the sign of a cross before you begin. Just start.”

So what are you going to start today?

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2010 challenge – being ‘enough’

We’ve got a challenge for you for 2010. But don’t feel like you’re alone in this… we’ll be doing it too!

The challenge seems quite simple. All you have to do is keep saying “I am enough” – but we know you’re going to find that hard to say, let alone believe.

And what’s the point? It’s about changing the way we think about ourselves and to shut down those annoying voices in our head. And that means we’ll be able to relax about ourselves and get on with living – instead of trying to fix stuff about ourselves all the time.

We’re sick of thinking about all the ways we’re not quite good enough – and we reckon you are too. You know what we’re talking about… “I’m not funny enough, smart enough, tall enough, pretty enough, slim enough, young enough, fit enough, assertive enough” and the list goes on.

So what’s the real word for this ‘not good enough’ feeling? Fear. We are afraid of not being pretty, slim, or young enough because that might mean we’re invisible or unloveable. We’re afraid of not being assertive enough because people will walk all over us – and that hurts. We’re afraid of not being smart enough because people won’t respect us, admire us, listen to us, promote us.

We’re afraid of not being fit enough because we might not be able to keep up with our friends and our kids, or be able to play the sport we love, or we’ll look floppy and uncoordinated, or…

We’re afraid of not being good enough (writers) because we won’t have our manuscript published, or when we do it’ll fall into oblivion or get torn to shreds by the critics. Most of all, we’re afraid that we won’t cope with stuff because we’re not enough.

Whatever our fears are, they’re often masquerading as ‘not being enough’. And the only thing fear does is stop you living. And trying. And breathing, mostly.

So in 2010, we’re going to be practicing ‘being enough’. We hope you’ll take up the challenge too.

cheers reindeers

Lou and Sandra

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Accepting compliments

One of my friends recently gave me a nudge. She said I didn’t take compliments well at all. She’s right…

“That’s a great dress. The colour really suits you.”

The reply? “Yes, it hides my flabby belly” or “Thanks, but I just got it on sale”.

“You look so fit and strong.”

“Looks are deceiving. I blow like an old horse when I run.”

“You look radiant.”

“…it’s the makeup. I had to trowel it on to hide the bags.”

“Thanks, but…”  Why the disclaimers? It’s almost like I’m channelling my inner-critic – the narky little voice in my head that tells me I’m not really good enough. I’m a fake and someone will find out sooner or later – so I may as well admit it all upfront.

I’m not alone. Accepting compliments is difficult for many of us (especially women!), and it’s an art we need to practice. It’s very simple to do. All we need to do is smile and say ‘thank you’ and leave it at that.

I’ve been very conscious of it lately and it really does make you feel better. I admit, I have bite marks on my tongue, but it seems to be working! The funny thing is that I’m noticing how many women just can’t take a compliment without adding a disclaimer.

But a compliment is a gift we can accept graciously. It will lift you up, if you let it. Just think about those days when someone says, “you look tired today”. How do you feel? Suddenly tired (or more tired). A compliment has the opposite effect .

Thank you. Smile. Thank you. Smile. If it takes 14 days to form a habit, I reckon I’m almost there…

So instead of admitting you got your fabulous dress in a closing down sale, or pointing out one of your flaws to counteract that great attribute someone just pointed out…smile and say thank you. It could just make your day…

cheers

Lou

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What do I really want?

Have you ever asked yourself  ‘What do I really want?’ and come up blank – because it’s been way too long since you had time to think about it. I have.

But yesterday I discovered that finding out what I don’t want can be quite illuminating.

Recently an opportunity presented itself – one I’d tell anybody else to jump at – but (after much soul searching) I didn’t grab it with both hands.

Yesterday, I said ‘no’ to it. And it wasn’t out of fear. I actually felt it would take my life in a direction I didn’t really want to go in right now.

When I thought I should go all Nike inspired and just do it, I felt a huge sense of loss – especially of the freedom I feel I’m getting now, to create the life I’ve imagined. Yes, the opportunity was indeed fabulous – but it just didn’t feel right for me.

What do I really want? Finding out what I don’t want just brought me a lot closer to knowing…

I’m talking in riddles, because it doesn’t really matter what the opportunity was. For me this time, it was a brilliant job in another state/city – but what mattered to me was that I no longer feel I have to jump at every opportunity, even if that’s what I’ve always done.

I’m beginning to understand what I value and I feel like I’m getting closer to my true self. And I know that, because when I said ‘no’ I suddenly felt free again. Free to reinvent myself in whatever way I choose to. I followed my heart – not my ego or the fear of missing out or the $$ signs.

And, I’ll admit it, the $$ signs were starting to dictate my life, thanks to the GFC. No wonder I was feeling off centre.

I’m usually an advocate for the ‘leap and the net will appear’ theory. But that’s about following your heart, your instincts. And it means you’re pretty convinced that leaping (into whatever it is) feels right for you.

I’ll never know for sure if I made the right choice, but I believe I did and that’s enough. So maybe, for me, it’s about passing up a great opportunity to make way for a better one that’s hot on its heels! (Bring it on!)

What do you really want? Find out what you don’t want, and what you do want will become clearer.

Lou

If you liked this, you might like these Art of Moi posts:

• What if? Dealing with disappointment
• Note to self: Value you 
• Five for Friday: Overcoming obstacles
• Put yourself (back) in the picture

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routines – how do I get the things I want done, done?

There was a time when I was the queen of routine (some less kind people might refer to it as being anal retentive, but I prefer my description). I got up at the same time, I exercised every day, I got to work on time (I left late every day), and I got stuff done.

That has not been the case of late (by ‘of late’, I am of course referring to the better part of the previous ten years). And it’s hard to get things done when you’re constantly pinballing from one thing to another.

I’ve decided it’s time to reclaim at least some of my routines and get more of things I want done, done. But there is no easy way to do this. It’s sheer will power all the way. But I think the key to actually making changes and achieving routines is to only think of the one tiny task you absolutely need to do and get that thing done.

For instance, if morning is the only time I can exercise then that’s when I’m going to have to do it. I need to set the alarm clock at an appropriate time. I need to get up, not doze, when the alarm clock goes off. Then I need to concentrate on actually getting myself up and doing that 10 mins on the treadmill.

Yes, that’s it. Ten minutes. I’m making a goal so ridiculously small that it would seem stupid of me not to complete it.

So tomorrow morning is the morning. I’m starting with the ten minute treadmill challenge that will lead me into an eventual routine of daily writing, staying on top of the washing pile and getting more of what I want done.

What’s the first ridiculously small thing you need to do to get some routines into your life? Think small people. We don’t want to burn ourselves out before we even start.

Let me know how you go.

S.

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