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Posts Tagged ‘Note to self’

Today, the torrent that’s been my year-so-far has slowed down – momentarily at least – and I’ve risen, gasping for air, to the surface. How exciting! A few days to breathe, kick off a couple of other projects I thought would require the midnight oil burner, and maybe get some me-time.

Right. Tomorrow. #1. Start the …. #2. Sort the…. #3. Clean the…. #4. Get the….. #5. Go to….#6. Have lunch with…. #7. Call…..

Oh god, there I going making lists again.

Why can’t I stop doing that? What’s so addictive about lists – especially really, really long ones I can’t possibly get done in the one, tiny, weeny day I’ve had off in god knows how long.

I saw a sticker on a car the other day, in fancy schmantzy writing: Justify your existence. I wanted to shout, NO! Don’t you get it?? I want to stop justifying my existence. It’s all I ever do…

The endless to-do lists are a clue. So is my inability to stop and smell the roses (without noticing the weeds I have to pull out or that the poor things could do with some fertilizer).

…the thing is, I know I’m not alone out here. We get just a bit addicted to our busy-ness and we find it hard to sit still – in a conscious state that is. Yeah, we might vege out in front of the TV after our power wind-down (aka wine-downing), but we’re not so good at not trying to be everything to everyone, while keeping the house in order, the kids lives in order, and the business/finances in order.

When was the last time you looked at the chaos around you and shrugged. Or when your kid/significant other said ‘have you seen my…’ and you said ‘nah’ without budging an inch. Or when you, in a fully-conscious, living-in-the-moment state, just didn’t try to do everything.

I can’t remember the last time I did that. Except in my head. Because we’re programmed to nurture, reduce chaos, facilitate others, and look good doing it.

“Justify your existence”? Oh, we’ve done that already.

Rip!! Crumple!! Chuck!!

That was the to-do list for tomorrow. Hmmmm. I’ve just discovered my diaphram – and I’m breathing again.

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It’s okay to spend time doing something that’s important to you. Even if it’s not important to anyone else on the whole planet. Even if it never earns you $$$.

So when I settle down to do a project (like writing my YA Rom Comm), I’m going to give it my full attention. It might only be for half an hour, but my email is going off. I’m not going to be tempted to blog (after this one, anyway…) or twitter about anything. I’m not going to make phonecalls. And I’m not going to just pop another load of washing on…

I’m going to start taking ‘writing breaks’. Because I can.

After all, that’s why I started my own professional writing business – and work from home most of the time. So I could have a job and a life. Getting totally absorbed into business life and losing a bit of myself along the way wasn’t part of the plan.

Okay, that’s a long enough note to self. From now on, I’m going to value myself and do what I need to do. And right now, I need to write.

Go on…you can do it too!

cheers

Lou

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