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Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

As the song goes – some days are diamonds, some days are stones. (Well I hope that’s how it goes. I’ve only just convinced my daughter that the words to another song are ‘Deep Water’ rather than the ‘Pete Waller’ she was singing.)

Yesterday was a stones kinda day.

But today is better. Why? I think it’s all about your mental approach and having a system to deal with these things and get yourself back on course.

For me, one of the first things I try to do is get my mind thinking in a way that’s helpful to me. I picked up one of the many, many inspirational books on my shelf and looked for help. The first page asked, ‘Where will you be five years from today?’ (It happens to be the name of the book too.) It was all I needed. That one line gave me my problem and my cure.

Problem – I’m not exactly where I want to be.

Cure – Make a plan to get there.

The other thing was that it reminded me that I had made a plan, I had been sticking to it, and I am slowly getting there.

Where I want to be is published in fiction. Where I am, is writing stuff for other people to make money. (A good substitute, because I do like eating and paying my bills.)

My plan is to give myself two years to continue this way, keep finishing all my half-done projects and put them out there. I’m not starting another new thing until they’re done. Everything new gets jotted down and stuck into the ideas file.

It didn’t turn my day into a diamond, but it made it possible for me to keep on going rather than getting stuck in a rut.

So next time your day is stones, inspire yourself. You know what to do. You’ve done it before. You will do it again.

And finally, here’s another piece of inspiration from the 5 book – Give yourself permission to aim high in work and life. Take time to dream and plan.

 

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Start. Do anything. Do something. Act.

If you can do one small thing today, you are one step closer to your goal.

Do you have a goal?

Perhaps today is the day you work out what your goal is. Because that is enough to take you one step ahead and how to make progress. (Well don’t just sit there. Get a piece of paper and do it now.)

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In the spirit of ‘being enough’, today’s FIVE FOR FRIDAY is about turning negatives into positives, and making life simpler and happier.

Number one – Weighing yourself with glasses on can be disturbing at first. You will weigh more than you thought you did. (Can you tell what I did this morning?) But fat can be good. Find the good, whether it’s larger mammaries or an increased supply of human body fat to sell on the black market, and work with it. Once you’ve worked out a positive in any situation, it’s easier to make an effective start on changing the negatives.

Number two – Christmas can suck. There, it’s been said. There’s so much pressure to buy, buy, buy. And do we really need any more ‘stuff’? This year I’m avoiding the ‘stuff-trap’. I’m spending time with my kids, making small Christmas packages of specially decorated biscuits for the people we really don’t need to buy any ‘stuff’. Yes, it’s an easy option with kids. But what about a disc with a photo slide show, or a video you can make for family? If they don’t like it, they can always use it as a drink coaster or a bookmark, which was probably the level of ‘stuff’ you’d have bought for them anyway.

Number three – still on Christmas. Avoid the big shops when you can. There’s nothing that makes me more miserable than fighting for a carpark in a large shopping centre. All bets are off during December in carparks. I hate it. So go to that smaller, daggier, shopping centre, that’s probably closer anyway. No they won’t have a huge range, a food hall, or that favourite chainstore cafe you like. But it’ll be less stress, probably support a number of struggling small businesses, and you won’t get into a punch-up in the carpark.

Number four – moving on from Christmas. Plan for next year now. Don’t leave that New Year’s resolution until the New Year. Start putting it in place now. What do you want to be doing next year? Work out a schedule, an action plan, perhaps even a budget and map it out. If you want to lose weight or get fit, join the gym today, don’t wait! If you’re ready to go on day one (or already going), this year’s resolution might just be the one you stick to.

And finally, number five – Put it all into perspective. There’s always someone worse off, always someone better off. Stay positive, as much as you can. Give yourself reminders when you’re giving in to being down, and create ways to avoid the black dog. If you’re still here, there’s still hope. Any library has a range of books with stories of desperation and hope – read one. Then get up and do something, even the smallest thing you can think of, to achieve the things you want from life.

Have a great day everybody!

S & L.

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My mother is old enough to have stopped counting. About four decades ago. We were talking today about something she’s never forgiven herself for.

It happened in the last five years and it’s something most of our generation would celebrate… not flog themselves over. Not my mum.

When I said she should forgive herself, coz it’s dragging her (way, way) down, she looked at me as if I was mad. I am, but that’s not my point. To her, forgiving herself was beyond imagining.

I get the sneaking suspicion we are all a bit like that. We’ll forgive most people for most things, but we are so damn tough on ourselves.

So, I now know where I get it from, what’s your excuse 😉

The next time you start to beat yourself up, stop and think:

  1. There’s not a single person on this planet who hasn’t made a mistake. I think even the Dalai Lama would agree with that. We are not perfect. We stuff up. We get it wrong.
  2. You can’t change the past, but you can step in the future – and work on not making the same mistake again (although you’re bound to make different ones!)
  3. If it involves someone you’ve hurt and they are suffering for it, acknowledge your mistake (without making disclaimers!) and ask for their forgiveness.
  4. Don’t spill your guts to an unknowing person just to make yourself feel better – which will effectively pass the pain on to them!
  5. Chances are, that thing you said or did is long forgotten. We tend to have a very powerful magnifying glass when it comes to ourselves…
  6. Admit (to yourself) you did the wrong thing – and make peace with yourself.
  7. And if you’re religious like my mum, make peace with your god
  8. Then…Stop flogging yourself. Take a deep breath. Be kind to yourself.

I don’t think it will work for my mother. Old habits die hard. But it might work for you if you start now.

Coz, wow, by the time you get to be carrying around seven-or-more decades worth of making mistakes and not forgiving yourself, you’re going to need an emotional wheelchair to get around. 

So let’s all be more forgiving. Of each other – and ourselves.

Lou x

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I’ve always worked under the assumption that chocolate made you feel good and helped avoid depression. But it turns out this might not be the case.

Apparently there are two types of chocolate eaters – cravers and emotional eaters. If you’re a craver, the news is good. You think of chocolate like a good glass of wine. If you’re an emotional eater, the news is not so good, and you could well be sending yourself into a worse depression after eating chocolate.

This ABC article, says that you’d need to eat a ‘whole truckload’ of chocolate to get the equivalent of one antidepressant tablet.

Well okay then, if that’s what it’s gonna take! (I’m obviously a craver, not an emotional eater I guess.)

Read the full article here.

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